Exposing myself has most likely been my biggest weakness up to this point. It still makes me uncomfortable, yet I realize exploring why it's uncomfortable, yields a much greater return than staying in the shallow end with my feet on the bottom. I am learning to embrace exposure as a business owner and in my personal life. I'd say within the last 6 months, I'm light years ahead of where I was. The shift was due in part to a few circumstantial events in my life. The first was being laid off from a job I wasn't very happy in. The second was a car accident, it was my second to be exact, and caused again by someone who was driving irresponsibly. I learned that NASCAR driving really isn't my thing.
The great thing about these events were they forced me to get clear about what I want in life and begin on a path to achieving my dreams. Now... this all didn't happen in one fell swoop and I wouldn't have wanted it to. If it had, I would have missed meeting some amazing people who taught me how to be more patient, kind, believe in and take care of myself. I also learned how capable I am of living in the moment.
Rewind to the time in my life that I was working a job I felt great pride in, yet wasn't an ideal situation for many reasons, including my personality type and strong determination to keep the pace at a level most people don't feel comfortable with. Not only do I like to move physically, but I like feeling movement in the energy surrounding me - stagnant makes me want to scream, freak out and lose hope in mankind - basically it's a monstrous energy drain. When I finally figured this out, I was able to direct my energy toward endeavors that make me feel alive. Some would say working out 8-10 hours each week would kill them, however I had the time and never felt more energized and focused. My time spent working out was not frivolous in nature. Exercise helped move me past the barriers I created in my mind and showed me that injuries cause setbacks, but they don't have to be a life sentence.
I share this story, not because I enjoy talking about myself, but because everyone experiences hardships, setbacks and other ugly circumstances life can offer. We can never put ourselves in the shoes of another, however we can all relate to one another on a few simple things. The first, I listed above and the other "relate-able" lessons are forthcoming.
After leaving my job, I planned to continue on in a traditional career path as a public health professional. I tried hard, but it just wasn't in the cards - I interviewed my heart out and completed many fruitless interview projects. Among the rejection... opportunities to participate in health & fitness related endeavors kept popping up. Exploring this space and how I could integrate my passion for movement with my love for motivating others, and my background in public health, pushed me to start my own business. I mean, what did I have to lose? To reach this point I had to become very honest with myself, open, clear and speak up.
To answer my own question - I have nothing to lose. We (you) are our #1 advocates and resource in this life. When we're fueled by things we love, we are at our best and life comes into balance. I simply could have fallen victim to circumstance, however that would not have served me or anyone surrounding me very well. Bad things happen to good people and good people do bad things. When bad, inconvenient or hurtful things happen, we need to let go and surrender to the circumstance without allowing our ego to take over. Easier said than done, right, but awareness and practice go a long way.
My experiences over the past year were much like an eat, pray, love journey played out on the streets of Denver, CO. Not as cultural as visiting Italy, India and Indonesia, however filled with self-love and discovery. I was able to find balance and one I have never previously encountered. Instead of fear, my heart is filled with love, instead of worry, my mind is filled with positive aspirations. Life is unpredictable with new lessons to learn, however finding my flow, I'm bound to stay afloat in the deep end.
What's your biggest fear and how have you embraced overcoming it?
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